Relationships

Good Relationship, me and best friend Angie

I’ve been hear over a year, I started making the friends I had this year about this time last year when I started participating in the meet up I joined. It served its purpose; I made friends. Now that I have friends and am making friends outside the group, I’ve had a chance to step back and re-evaluate my relationships I’ve made since transplanting myself in Boston. This time last year the BF starting pulling the “fade away” breakup crap and I was a mess. This year, it seems like the same shit is happening only with people I thought were friends. I’ve been struggling to weed out the people who are hazardous to me and to be honest, I’m fed up with being taken advantage of, used, teased, and just overall brought down by negative people who refuse to use words or signs to communicate. So, I’m done. I’m the nice girl, who has a hard time saying no, but you cross me and I become someone many never see. Friends can sometimes piss each other off, but true friends get through it. Of course, in order to be a friend you have to really know the person. I think a lot of the people I’ve met would fall more under the acquaintance column than friendship column b/c they don’t really know me. Some know me better than others, but they don’t really know what makes me tick, what drives me, how things from the past have shaped me. I may have a hard time letting certain people in and I think I need to guard my heart even more than I already do and learn to keep my damn mouth shut! I know who my true friends are. They’re the ones who can say shit that pisses me off b/c it’s stuff I don’t want to hear (like LL being a player), but they’re also the ones I appreciate for being honest and telling me like it is. Sometimes I need a slap in the face to see clearly. This leads me to Latin Lover. An ok relationship? LL and me
He was my first love, he changed my life around (in fact, he played a huge part in my journey to Boston), he made me light up and smile, he got me to live life and he has always been the one I turn to whenever I have too much negative energy. So, of course when he said I could visit him in Denver I was beyond ecstatic. Tickets have been bought and I’ve started this rigorous workout regime to lose as much weight as I’ve gained since moving to Boston and toning back up to how I used to look, when he tells me TODAY MIND YOU, that he is sort of in a non serious long term relationship and connecting the dots I figure out it’s the same girl he was seeing this time last year (when I so badly wanted to drive down to his family’s house last year for Christmas b/c of my need for some positive energy after mattress asshole). WTF does that mean?!!!!! So yes, my best friend may be right about him playing me, but I hate it when I let people in, I trust them, I love them and then they keep me around b.c the sex is great or b/c I am a great planner. If I had a therapist, he’d say that I should be doing this crazy workout regime I’ve started for no one but myself. He’d say that LL served his purpose and I can’t keep going back to 2007-2008 to be happy. That I need to continue working on finding people similar to me and to keep those who like the entire package instead of the a la cart friends who like me or need me or use me for a few of my assets instead of appreciating the entire package. He’d probably suggest me going through my FB friends and delete those who should not be on there. Damn it, I am worth it so screw those who have used me, and thank you for those who take me as I am and not taking advantage of me, or trying to lesson my worth. Man, I do feel slightly better now.

Ugh!

I was so hoping that I would see snow flurries today so I could write my first flurry blog, but no, it didn't happen today. So, I have a lot to say tonight but am going to keep it simple. I do not sleep with the heat on in my room b/c I like it when it's cold. I enjoy wearing my PJ's and sleeping socks (yes, sometimes I sleep in nothing but my sleeping socks, and while there are some guys that hate that, I know others who have slept in nothing but their socks too- but I digress) and I have the coziest bed (my winter flannel sheets, my ever-so-soft plush blanket and my down comforter. I sometimes wake up hot, even if it's 28° out. So since I keep my radiator knob turned off and the heat setting knob thingy down to the lowest number, I was surprised when I turned it on to warm up the room a tad (and make sure I don't freeze any pipes) to see water streaming out of the pipe!! Yeah, that's not good. And the floor looks like it has water damage, don't cha think? So, it stays off (which is fine) and if it gets too cold I guess I'll have to call the maintenance guy (who I have been avoiding ever since that awkward lunch) to come fix that, change the light bulb in my hallway that decided to burn out last week (having really high ceilings suck otherwise I'd change it myself but am managing without that light for now) and check the wood floor near the door b/c to me it looks like it's rotted and I have this fear of falling through the floor. I'll wait until I leave for Cali, then maybe have him come over and fix everything on my list while I'm gone. Ugh, sometimes I wish I owned my own place, cuz I'd rip down walls, redo the floors (carpets baby!!) and install central air and heat. Oh well, it's a renters world until I decide to settle down somewhere.

My Last Free Sunday

Today was my last free Sunday for the next couple months. Bowling starts up next week which means I wont have the luxury of sleeping until noon and staying in my PJs until 2pm. I made some money renting my parking spot out last night and went shopping for some work clothes but ended up buying more stuff for entertaining. Took a nice walk down to Coolidge Corner and back with a friend. It's so weird not seeing the streets decorated like in Cambridge or stores with holiday displays in the windows. This might have to do with it being a Jewish town, but they have blue lights and isn't Light the whole point of Hanukkah? There was only enough oil for one night but it lasted 8? I mean, it doesn't need to be Christmas lights, just lights and I would be happy. That's why I got excited when I saw that this one shop had a small Christmas Tree outside their door. Now, 34° and my ears are still frozen...time to start wearing hats when I go out the door, we may not have snow, but it sure is freezing out and only going to get colder. Winter is here!

Dessert Wine Tasting

Tonight was my first large social appearance in over a month. It was a great night. My friend down the street hosted a dessert wine tasting with pairings. Everyone brought a dessert wine and/or a dessert to pair the dessert wines with. Let me just say that when you do dessert wines and dessert you are unable to get drunk by downing drinks. Many of the dessert wines are too sweet to drink like a normal glass of wine. Eve was smart in having small tasting size cups, making it harder for people to drink too much at once and allowed for the perfect tasting size. The desserts were amazing, most if not all were homemade. We had a decent spread (photo of just the beginning, when everyone arrived the table was covered from side-to-side with wines and desserts (salty food and cheese were on another table in the living room). There were about 18 people (give or take) that showed and we did not finish all the wine or the desserts. I did find another yummy dessert wine that I like and walked away with a slice of cheesecake I was too full to try and some homemade biscotti (which will go perfect with my daily cup of eggnog latte). I loved that it was 2 blocks down from me, about a 5 minute walk. Which meant I could get drunk or stay out as late as I wanted without having to worry about the T since I just walked. Now, I didn't get drunk, and it was one degree above freezing when I walked home, but it felt so nice considering how sweaty I was from all the bodies in the apartment (note to self and others: dress in easy layers so you can shed your long sleeves at my holiday party). A fun night out, met a new guy and had great conversations, didn't take me long to travel to and from the party and no money spent...nearly a perfect night out! 'Tis the Season, let the holiday parties commence.

BIDMC

Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, a Harvard Affiliated, has decked out their trees in the courtyard off of Brookline Ave. I've never seen so many blue lights in one place before. It was chilly tonight getting off the bus (yes, cute bus driver dropped me off) but I made it to the gym (my second time today). I put on my dancing shoes (my gym shoes) and danced a bunch of Latin styled dances (I dislike the Flamenco for the record). A newly acquainted male friend of mine was slightly mislead by my gchat status "got my dancing shoes on" but it started a conversation. Growing up in Miami, he learned to dance salsa at age 12 (and no, he's not Latin- at least he doesn't seem to be). It's been over a month since I last took Zumba because of being sick. Now that my asthma is kicking in, I find myself struggling if I run or do anything too strenuous, so I need to be careful about how far to push myself. It was peaceful walking back to the bus stop (yes, cute bus boy picked me up to take me home too) seeing the blue lights in the trees, but man, it was windy and I was so thankful I decided to bring my extra warm gloves with me, otherwise my fingers would have turned blue (or purple). Not sure how night gym classes are going to be in the winter, I refuse to wear a thick coat b/c I have to rush to get out of class to catch the bus, so we will see what happens, my sweatshirt was ok for the shore time I was outside.

Harvard, Starbucks, Veg Food and Plays

Today I found myself on the other side of the river. It took less than 20 minutes to get from Longwood to Harvard. There was a little celebration at the Holyoke Arcade tonight with President Drew Faust, free yummy cupcakes, pizza and amazing hot cider and Christmas carols being sung by Harvard students all promoting a toy drive and getting me in the Christmas spirit. Every time I go over there I feel like I’m in a foreign country and out of my element. Even in the Harvard Coop where I bought some presents, it felt weird like I was out of place. The streets were decked out in Christmas lights. I walked from there to Central Square where I stopped at Starbucks for their 2nd day of Christmas: buy 1 get one free of their Christmas blend coffee (can't wait to make my eggnog latte with that blend instead of the French Roast I have). I read my book while waiting to meet a friend for dinner. We ate at this healthy vegetarian place “Life Alive” which was actually really good before crossing the street to the Central Square YMCA to see our friend Gill perform in some 1 Act plays. Christopher Durang was one F#$&ed up dude! That’s all I can say. Interesting performances, I’ve never been to any thing like it and I’ve seen lots of live stage performances ranging from kids->high school->college->community and Broadway. It was entertaining for sure, and it got better with each short. Maybe because I caught on to he theme and/or the shock/confusion/surprise wore off and I began to see where things would go. Gill performed in the last two shorts. The first was a minor role with no speaking parts and his last where he was the main character and did great! Thanks Gill for telling us ahead of time of your performance, looking forward to the Goat one next month :)

Happy Hanukkah

No, I'm not Jewish. I was born and raised Catholic, but there may be some Jew in me down the line. I have celebrated Hanukkah before (well sort of) b/c my ex in Cali is Jewish. I have a dreidle from when I was a kid (no idea where I got it but I do remember I used to know the symbols on the sides and would play with it using chocolate coins). Living in a predominate Jewish town now, it's funny seeing blue lights instead of the colorful lights and white lights I grew up seeing. Where you see menorahs from the windows instead of Christmas trees. The other day I was out in my living room and had the curtains open with the Christmas tree lights on and I heard a girl walking by with her friend say "ohhh a Christmas tree!" So clearly, I've been noted as being a gentile among the Jews (or so it feels).

This Advent calendar I have had since I was a kid. Every year my mom would hang it up so the 3 of us could take turns putting the plastic Christmas figures up on the Christmas tree to countdown the days left 'til Christmas. The felt has thinned over the years and faded, we still have all put one piece (for the 25th) and to be honest, I do not even remember there being a 25th figure. So 25 stays blank and we open presents when it gets to that day. A few years back I had to put Velcro on the tree because the felt was too thin to hold the Velcro-backed figures. Since I am the first born and it holds more sentimental value to me, I brought it with me last year. This is the first time I've had it up in my own place, a touch of "home" is proudly displayed in my dining room. Tonight I placed the elf on the tree. For those who are counting...24 more days until Christmas and I hope you all take time to enjoy these 24 days because they are going to whiz by.